"Be safe through inspiration's power"

Sitting in church thinking of how many Sunday's I have left here in my hometown. I felt a certain amount of sadness and excitement all at the same time. My thoughts just seem to naturally go towards sadness though. We were learning a new song, a song I already know by heart so I wasn't paying really close attention. The song: Choose the Right. As I sat there singing the song my focus shifted and I seemed to really focus on the phrase, "be safe thru inspirations power". In that moment many prayers were answered. On the surface the words seem true enough. But in that moment some dots were connected for me and realized that yes, this is going to be hard for me. Change is always hard. But in answer to my many prayers the Spirit almost "showed" me my answer. It's been a journey to get me to where I am know. I kept praying, and saying I need to REALLY know that we are making the right choice here. I just can't handle going so far and giving up so much for something that is just a whim or great idea. Here is what I realized/remembered as I sang that phrase.

I knew that we would move eventually. Nate reminded me of an experience I had 4 years ago. He was surprised that I was surprised that we were in fact moving. I went into my journal and re-read it.

Basically I was walking down the hallway carrying my laundry, when I had the distinct impression that we would be moving very far away and that I needed to prepare myself for this situation. I also knew that it would not simply be to another city. I knew that this would be a big move, like to another state. I didn't know which one but it was strong enough that, that night I had a talk with Nate and told him my feelings. He said it was interesting and asked me if I wanted to move out of state. I said no, but I think we will end up doing that. I couldn't explain but felt it strongly enough that I wrote all this in my journal. When Nate told me about the opportunity in Virginia, something inside me was curious about it. I wasn't entirely sure about why but told Nate to get info and look into it. When the company was so very generous with us and before we even asked for anything gave us the things we were needing/wanting in order to accept I knew this was what we should do. I have to say however that I really didn't want to do it. I knew what it meant personally, for my children, my extended family, my pets, my home, my life. Not to mention I am TERRIFIED of living on the east coast. Of all the places I have NEVER wanted to live it's anywhere NEAR Washington D.C. I would just love to NOT live there. BUT,.....

In that moment in primary I sang those words, "be safe thru inspiration's power." I knew that this was inspired. I had been prepared by the Lord because he loves me and knows me. He knew that I would need time to get ready for this. He gave me 4 years. He also granted us time here to spend with Glenn, my Father-in-law before he passed away which meant a great deal to Nate and I. Not only that but that there is SAFETY thru inspiration. Because we are doing what we have been inspired to do, there is safety in that. We will be ok. Better yet, we will be very blessed in ways we can't even imagine yet.

We had several opportunities to move to different places, after that initial impression ,and really wanted to, but none felt right. And now here we are 3 1/2 months from our move date and I was still feeling like I needed something more. Something to slap me in the face and say "don't worry you ARE doing the right thing!" I got my answer in a hymn the children were learning. A song that I already knew. So now I am working to find reasons to be excited about this and have a positive attitude.

I am grateful to see inspiration at work in my own life. To know that in spite of my flaws, the Lord loves me enough to show me, to help me be able to connect these things and see his hand in our life. I'm still struggling with the emotional part of this, and the actual physical changes that living in another place will bring but I'm also excited to go to the Smithsonian, see the White House, the Washington Monument, etc. and more especially the Temple in D.C! So beautiful, and the wonderful people that I know we will meet!!

I am still assembling a list of things that I will miss about California, for my own journaling/memories but it will also accompany another list. A list of things I'm looking forward to.