Monday, February 27, 2012
Charts
We are trying to memorize the Articles of Faith. I'm still trying find some ways of doing this that work well. We are also working on memorizing a list of scriptures. I realize this might take a while, but it's worth the effort. I'm doing this to help my kids but mostly for myself. I'm horrible about remembering where certain scriptures are and want to do better about that. We have a chart for chores and a chart for spiritual things such as Articles of Faith, and daily scripture study. Wish us luck!!
Thursday, February 16, 2012
"Be safe through inspiration's power"
Sitting in church thinking of how many Sunday's I have left here in my hometown. I felt a certain amount of sadness and excitement all at the same time. My thoughts just seem to naturally go towards sadness though. We were learning a new song, a song I already know by heart so I wasn't paying really close attention. The song: Choose the Right. As I sat there singing the song my focus shifted and I seemed to really focus on the phrase, "be safe thru inspirations power". In that moment many prayers were answered. On the surface the words seem true enough. But in that moment some dots were connected for me and realized that yes, this is going to be hard for me. Change is always hard. But in answer to my many prayers the Spirit almost "showed" me my answer. It's been a journey to get me to where I am know. I kept praying, and saying I need to REALLY know that we are making the right choice here. I just can't handle going so far and giving up so much for something that is just a whim or great idea. Here is what I realized/remembered as I sang that phrase.
I knew that we would move eventually. Nate reminded me of an experience I had 4 years ago. He was surprised that I was surprised that we were in fact moving. I went into my journal and re-read it.
Basically I was walking down the hallway carrying my laundry, when I had the distinct impression that we would be moving very far away and that I needed to prepare myself for this situation. I also knew that it would not simply be to another city. I knew that this would be a big move, like to another state. I didn't know which one but it was strong enough that, that night I had a talk with Nate and told him my feelings. He said it was interesting and asked me if I wanted to move out of state. I said no, but I think we will end up doing that. I couldn't explain but felt it strongly enough that I wrote all this in my journal. When Nate told me about the opportunity in Virginia, something inside me was curious about it. I wasn't entirely sure about why but told Nate to get info and look into it. When the company was so very generous with us and before we even asked for anything gave us the things we were needing/wanting in order to accept I knew this was what we should do. I have to say however that I really didn't want to do it. I knew what it meant personally, for my children, my extended family, my pets, my home, my life. Not to mention I am TERRIFIED of living on the east coast. Of all the places I have NEVER wanted to live it's anywhere NEAR Washington D.C. I would just love to NOT live there. BUT,.....
In that moment in primary I sang those words, "be safe thru inspiration's power." I knew that this was inspired. I had been prepared by the Lord because he loves me and knows me. He knew that I would need time to get ready for this. He gave me 4 years. He also granted us time here to spend with Glenn, my Father-in-law before he passed away which meant a great deal to Nate and I. Not only that but that there is SAFETY thru inspiration. Because we are doing what we have been inspired to do, there is safety in that. We will be ok. Better yet, we will be very blessed in ways we can't even imagine yet.
We had several opportunities to move to different places, after that initial impression ,and really wanted to, but none felt right. And now here we are 3 1/2 months from our move date and I was still feeling like I needed something more. Something to slap me in the face and say "don't worry you ARE doing the right thing!" I got my answer in a hymn the children were learning. A song that I already knew. So now I am working to find reasons to be excited about this and have a positive attitude.
I am grateful to see inspiration at work in my own life. To know that in spite of my flaws, the Lord loves me enough to show me, to help me be able to connect these things and see his hand in our life. I'm still struggling with the emotional part of this, and the actual physical changes that living in another place will bring but I'm also excited to go to the Smithsonian, see the White House, the Washington Monument, etc. and more especially the Temple in D.C! So beautiful, and the wonderful people that I know we will meet!!
I am still assembling a list of things that I will miss about California, for my own journaling/memories but it will also accompany another list. A list of things I'm looking forward to.
I knew that we would move eventually. Nate reminded me of an experience I had 4 years ago. He was surprised that I was surprised that we were in fact moving. I went into my journal and re-read it.
Basically I was walking down the hallway carrying my laundry, when I had the distinct impression that we would be moving very far away and that I needed to prepare myself for this situation. I also knew that it would not simply be to another city. I knew that this would be a big move, like to another state. I didn't know which one but it was strong enough that, that night I had a talk with Nate and told him my feelings. He said it was interesting and asked me if I wanted to move out of state. I said no, but I think we will end up doing that. I couldn't explain but felt it strongly enough that I wrote all this in my journal. When Nate told me about the opportunity in Virginia, something inside me was curious about it. I wasn't entirely sure about why but told Nate to get info and look into it. When the company was so very generous with us and before we even asked for anything gave us the things we were needing/wanting in order to accept I knew this was what we should do. I have to say however that I really didn't want to do it. I knew what it meant personally, for my children, my extended family, my pets, my home, my life. Not to mention I am TERRIFIED of living on the east coast. Of all the places I have NEVER wanted to live it's anywhere NEAR Washington D.C. I would just love to NOT live there. BUT,.....
In that moment in primary I sang those words, "be safe thru inspiration's power." I knew that this was inspired. I had been prepared by the Lord because he loves me and knows me. He knew that I would need time to get ready for this. He gave me 4 years. He also granted us time here to spend with Glenn, my Father-in-law before he passed away which meant a great deal to Nate and I. Not only that but that there is SAFETY thru inspiration. Because we are doing what we have been inspired to do, there is safety in that. We will be ok. Better yet, we will be very blessed in ways we can't even imagine yet.
We had several opportunities to move to different places, after that initial impression ,and really wanted to, but none felt right. And now here we are 3 1/2 months from our move date and I was still feeling like I needed something more. Something to slap me in the face and say "don't worry you ARE doing the right thing!" I got my answer in a hymn the children were learning. A song that I already knew. So now I am working to find reasons to be excited about this and have a positive attitude.
I am grateful to see inspiration at work in my own life. To know that in spite of my flaws, the Lord loves me enough to show me, to help me be able to connect these things and see his hand in our life. I'm still struggling with the emotional part of this, and the actual physical changes that living in another place will bring but I'm also excited to go to the Smithsonian, see the White House, the Washington Monument, etc. and more especially the Temple in D.C! So beautiful, and the wonderful people that I know we will meet!!
I am still assembling a list of things that I will miss about California, for my own journaling/memories but it will also accompany another list. A list of things I'm looking forward to.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Gluten Intolerance and Celiacs Disease
For my family and friends who are interested in learning a little bit about what's going on with our family and those who have it in there families. I found this on a blog called Gluten Free Doctors and it has really great info.
The Inside Scoop on Gluten Intolerance
I think it’s good to occasionally step back and focus on the basics of gluten intolerance. [Note: I use ‘gluten intolerance’ as an umbrella term that includes both celiac disease and gluten sensitivity.] Sometimes I get so caught up in writing about the latest research that I forget that every hour of every day a newly diagnosed individual is needing information on the basics - what gluten intolerance means and how they should begin the process of instituting a gluten-free diet.
This blog, the Gluten Doctors, was my first blog and one that I began after writing my book, “The Gluten Effect”. I wrote the book to embrace a disorder that was being completely ignored by the celiac community – gluten sensitivity.
Fortunately after only a few months of the publishing date of “The Gluten Effect”, major researchers in the field began to publicly agree that gluten sensitivity was a very real condition and one that warranted the attention of researchers and clinicians alike.
Let’s discuss those basics:
What is Gluten Intolerance?
As mentioned above gluten intolerance is an embracive term that includes both celiac disease and gluten sensitivity.
What is Celiac Disease?
Celiac disease has had many faces since it was first described by a medical doctor Samuel Gee in 1887. Initially it was thought to be purely a digestive problem, akin to indigestion.
It was later realized to be an autoimmune disease and small intestine destruction was considered the hallmark of the disease.
Knowledge further advanced and it was realized that celiac was more a disease of the immune system that affected most every part of the human body. From the heart to the lungs, from the liver to the brain, there is no system of the body that gluten doesn’t touch.
We now realize that celiac disease affects the nervous system more so than the digestive tract and that many so afflicted have absolutely no digestive complaints whatsoever – yet they still have celiac disease.
This last sentence would be a surprise, and in fact would be refuted, by many clinicians in this country today. They would be wrong but that wouldn’t make them any less emphatic about it. I cannot tell you how frustrating it is to hear from people who ‘know’ they are gluten intolerant but are told by their doctor that if they have no digestive complaints they have no need to even be tested for the condition.
Classic celiac disease, as described so many years ago, consists of a profile that many clinicians, including gastroenterologists, embrace as ‘gospel’. This classic picture would present with an underweight patient with chronic diarrhea, abdominal pain and bloating.
Classic celiac disease exists, but it in no way describes the majority of cases – quite the contrary.
Celiac disease affects 1% of the population and it rises to about 4% with increased age.
How do you know if you have celiac disease? Good question. I wish I could tell you there was an absolute fool-proof test. Most recent research has this to say:
A highly positive tTG test with a positive AGA test (both blood tests) are highly correlative with celiac disease.
Do you have to have a positive intestinal biopsy to ‘confirm’ the blood tests? Many clinicians would say ‘yes’ and they would be wrong. Why? You can definitely have celiac disease and have a negative biopsy. To say otherwise is condemning many celiac sufferers to a shortened, unhealthy lifespan.
[I can see the comments coming in already. I know, you’ve been told otherwise. It is incorrect.]
So what does one do if they get a negative test but they are suspicious of being gluten intolerant? I have two suggestions:
1. Try a gluten-free diet for 30 days and see how you feel. [Feeling better is a valid test in itself.] Do remember that this is a zero tolerance policy so educate yourself first and then begin. There’s no point in a ‘mostly gluten free’ approach – it’s got to be as perfect as possible.
2. Get a genetic test to see if you carry the genes for celiac disease or gluten sensitivity. Either one makes for a lifelong gluten-free diet in your future, but I think it’s good to know for yourself as well as for other members of the family, which, if either, is positive. I’ve heard researchers state that there are likely more genes that code for gluten intolerance than we know about, but the genetic test available is still a good place to start.
Symptoms Associated with Celiac Disease
There are over 300 symptoms and conditions associated with celiac disease and gluten sensitivity. I will include some of the most common ones below to give you an idea if you or someone you care about potentially falls into this category:
· Fatigue
· Infertility
· Obesity
· Diabetes
· Depression
· Rheumatoid arthritis
· Anxiety
· Thyroid disease
· Gas/bloating
· Liver disease
· Diarrhea/constipation
· Cancer
· Headaches/migraines
· ADD/ADHD
· Acid reflux
· Autism
· Brain fog/Poor memory
· Stunted growth
· Hormonal imbalance
· Osteoporasis
What is Gluten Sensitivity? How is it Different from Celiac Disease?
Gluten sensitivity is very similar to celiac disease. They are both genetic conditions, they both are known to affect most systems of the body, and both require a lifelong gluten-free diet.
The estimation of incidence of gluten sensitivity is much higher than celiac disease - 10% of the population. This is new research in an area that is in its infancy. Personally I feel that the incidence is likely much higher, perhaps up to 30% or more of the population. This personal estimate is based on my clinical experience and it is shared by others in the field. But I am not a researcher.
There is some thought that gluten sensitivity is less serious than celiac disease. This is not true. Both conditions can shorten life expectancy and create hundreds of different symptoms and conditions. Celiac disease is, in itself, an autoimmune disease and gluten sensitivity is not. Some extrapolate this to mean that gluten sensitivity cannot be a causative factor in creating autoimmune disease. I have not found this to be the case. In fact we have, here at the clinic, seen amazing improvements and sometimes reversals, of autoimmune diseases in patients who were gluten sensitive but who did not suffer from celiac disease. Once again this is my clinical experience, there is not much if any research in this area.
How do you Test for Gluten Sensitivity?
There are tests that exist for gluten sensitivity, although they are not ‘recognized’ currently. Does that mean they do not work? Not at all. I am quite pleased with the results of the testing I use. I find they correlate quite well with patient symptoms and improvement once a gluten-free diet is instituted.
The opinion that no ‘accepted’ gluten sensitivity test exists is simply a function of how new the field is. As mentioned earlier, it’s only been two years since general acceptance of the existence of gluten sensitivity occurred.
So what should you do if you suspect gluten sensitivity? I am happy to share with you the labs that I use and genetic testing is available as well. Ultimately the 30 day elimination diet is something I always include, regardless of what testing is done because I trust that as a valid test. I typically run the blood test and back it up with the 30 day elimination diet. The lab testing is not perfect, none of them are, but the body will tell you what it thinks of gluten if you eliminate it completely from your diet for 30 days.
If I am Gluten Intolerant How Do I Get Started?
1. You must educate yourself. I mentioned this is the first blog I ever created. Since then I have merged my website, blogs and you tube videos to act as a comprehensive resource. My ‘gluten sensitivity and celiac’ blog is at this address: http://www.healthnowmedical.com/category/gluten-intolerance-celiac/ you can also go to this page (http://www.healthnowmedical.com/am-i-gluten-sensitive/gluten-foods/) to learn the foods that are safe and unsafe when embarking on a gluten free diet.
2. Be patient. It is not easy to change your diet so radically and the change will likely not happen overnight. You will make mistakes, unfortunately. But learn from them and continue to be patient with yourself as you learn more about food in general and gluten in specific. If you hang in there you will be rewarded with greatly improved health.
3. Find a clinician to help you. This can be difficult which is why we created a destination clinic wherein we see patients from across the country and internationally. We are not the only ones who know how to take care of you, but the numbers are truly dismally small. We’ll try to help you find someone local to you but if that doesn’t work, we’re happy to help.
4. Finally, I wish I could say that eliminating gluten was the only step you had to take to restore optimal health. Certainly it should be, but alas, there are other steps that need to be taken. Why? Removing gluten is simply not sufficient to restore the health to all the parts of the body that gluten has affected. From healing the small intestine, to regaining the strength of the healthy probiotic population, to balancing hormones and more - all these factors must be assessed and treated as needed. We call these the secondary effects of gluten and they are not difficult to treat.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Tidal wave
THE MOVE-
I know I seem to blog about the move that's coming a bunch. Sorry for being a bit one dimensional with that but since that is what is hovering over me at the moment that's what I think about. I feel like I can see the tidal wave coming at me in the distance and I know I'm supposed to grab a surf board and jump on at just the right time. But I keep thinking if I run faster it won't catch up with me. Moving is going to be a lot harder than I thought it would be. Every time I look at the calendar to write things down I feel that way. We only have 4 precious months to spend with our friends and families. It's so overwhelming knowing how much our life is going to change very soon. I feel so blessed to have wonderful opportunities and yet I feel like I'm going thru the 5 stages of grief....and stuck in all of them at the same time. More often than not I feel like I'm in our brand new Vita Mix blender. My kids have each had break-through's in different aspects of their academic lives. They each ADORE their teachers. How do you say goodbye to that? What about my sweet dog Shelby? How do you just get rid of a member of your family? Uggghhh...I just can't think about that stuff or I cry all night. I'm trying to focus on all the good things that people keep telling us about the place we are going. How welcoming they will be, how kind and generous and accepting they are. All the history that will be so close. New York City, Washington D.C, etc. I'm looking forward to those things. I'm learning that I don't have near the faith I should. I need to trust the Lord. He has a plan for us and is very aware of our needs. It's just, I had a plan for my life. Everything was going according to that plan. Marry returned missionary/high school sweetheart....check. Have an adorable good size family....check. Live close to family and make sure my kids have close relationships with Grandparents....check. All of that is now changing. I'm having to give up what I wanted for something that will be different, new, strengthening/difficult and challenging. I won't know 3/4 of the people in the county and their families and background where we are going. No history with the people or the place, no sense of direction which means I will be getting lost ALL THE TIME! I freak out driving in Sacramento and I've been there dozens of times.....I think the Lord wants me to grow and stretch. It's time, and I'm using my journal and this blog to help work thru all the stuff that is going to come with it. So thanks for hanging in there with me.
I thought I would post some pics of Richmond so that I can remind myself that I'm moving to a seriously beautiful place!
Honestly, that part is a bit comforting. It's such a pretty place and rich in history!
THE GYM-
I am going to the gym now. THANK GOODNESS! I love the gym. The step aerobics classes, the toning classes, the spin classes, fantastic instructors, and meeting new people. I thrive in this environment. I love it. Plus I feel good when I exercise too. Some days I go 2 times a day because I have so much fun with certain classes, I think that might be a bit weird... Hopefully I'll drop these last 17lbs with all those extra calories I'm burnin'.
OUR FARM-
My ladies(Betty Boop, Big Mama, Speedy, Sandy etc.) are laying really well now. We are getting about 5-7 eggs per day. It's like Christmas every day! We absolutely LOVE IT!! The funny thing is that I get a TON of requests for our chickens. People find out we are moving and say, Oh, what are you going to do with your chickens? I'll take them. It's pretty funny, I thought they would be the toughest to find homes for. Turns out my sweet 10 year old Chocolate lab is the one that no one wants. And she is the one I'm most attached to.....the cats I love as well, but they don't seem to care one way or the other, which is why I love them so much! Heehee!
WORK & WALLPAPER-
Great thing is, Nate is doing REALLY well with his new position. They love him and are helping him find us a place to live. He went to look at a house already. He said I would love the kitchen the yard and the floor plan. I said great. He said you won't want to live here. I asked why. He uttered the word. The profane word of words. Just hearing it makes my blood boil....yep....wallpaper!!!! I HATE WALLPAPER! In every house I have ever remembered living in, there was wallpaper. It would not have been so bad, and my hatred not so red hot had it not been for the fact that I had to help remove said wallpaper from the wall of each house containing the obscene stuff. One house had 27 layers of wallpaper in one room.....I DON'T like wallpaper. So of course I said no, and he said I know babe, it's in every room on every wall. My worst nightmare come true. We aren't living in that house....
So the hunt continues. In March I will be flying out with Nate to really start looking...not gonna lie. I'm freaking out about it just a bit. That means this is really happening.
THE GLUTEN CHALLENGE-
On a side note, pasta and bread never tasted so good! I'm lovin' it!!!!! If I do have celiac's I will miss it terribly. I forgot how much I love pasta! Slather that stuff in fatty, saucy goodness and I will go to town! Don't even get me started on desserts. Dessert is still my passion. Cakes, pies, cookies, pastries... If I ever get a chance to go back to school I would be either a nurse or a pastry chef...no joke!!
I know I seem to blog about the move that's coming a bunch. Sorry for being a bit one dimensional with that but since that is what is hovering over me at the moment that's what I think about. I feel like I can see the tidal wave coming at me in the distance and I know I'm supposed to grab a surf board and jump on at just the right time. But I keep thinking if I run faster it won't catch up with me. Moving is going to be a lot harder than I thought it would be. Every time I look at the calendar to write things down I feel that way. We only have 4 precious months to spend with our friends and families. It's so overwhelming knowing how much our life is going to change very soon. I feel so blessed to have wonderful opportunities and yet I feel like I'm going thru the 5 stages of grief....and stuck in all of them at the same time. More often than not I feel like I'm in our brand new Vita Mix blender. My kids have each had break-through's in different aspects of their academic lives. They each ADORE their teachers. How do you say goodbye to that? What about my sweet dog Shelby? How do you just get rid of a member of your family? Uggghhh...I just can't think about that stuff or I cry all night. I'm trying to focus on all the good things that people keep telling us about the place we are going. How welcoming they will be, how kind and generous and accepting they are. All the history that will be so close. New York City, Washington D.C, etc. I'm looking forward to those things. I'm learning that I don't have near the faith I should. I need to trust the Lord. He has a plan for us and is very aware of our needs. It's just, I had a plan for my life. Everything was going according to that plan. Marry returned missionary/high school sweetheart....check. Have an adorable good size family....check. Live close to family and make sure my kids have close relationships with Grandparents....check. All of that is now changing. I'm having to give up what I wanted for something that will be different, new, strengthening/difficult and challenging. I won't know 3/4 of the people in the county and their families and background where we are going. No history with the people or the place, no sense of direction which means I will be getting lost ALL THE TIME! I freak out driving in Sacramento and I've been there dozens of times.....I think the Lord wants me to grow and stretch. It's time, and I'm using my journal and this blog to help work thru all the stuff that is going to come with it. So thanks for hanging in there with me.
I thought I would post some pics of Richmond so that I can remind myself that I'm moving to a seriously beautiful place!
Honestly, that part is a bit comforting. It's such a pretty place and rich in history!
THE GYM-
I am going to the gym now. THANK GOODNESS! I love the gym. The step aerobics classes, the toning classes, the spin classes, fantastic instructors, and meeting new people. I thrive in this environment. I love it. Plus I feel good when I exercise too. Some days I go 2 times a day because I have so much fun with certain classes, I think that might be a bit weird... Hopefully I'll drop these last 17lbs with all those extra calories I'm burnin'.
OUR FARM-
My ladies(Betty Boop, Big Mama, Speedy, Sandy etc.) are laying really well now. We are getting about 5-7 eggs per day. It's like Christmas every day! We absolutely LOVE IT!! The funny thing is that I get a TON of requests for our chickens. People find out we are moving and say, Oh, what are you going to do with your chickens? I'll take them. It's pretty funny, I thought they would be the toughest to find homes for. Turns out my sweet 10 year old Chocolate lab is the one that no one wants. And she is the one I'm most attached to.....the cats I love as well, but they don't seem to care one way or the other, which is why I love them so much! Heehee!
WORK & WALLPAPER-
Great thing is, Nate is doing REALLY well with his new position. They love him and are helping him find us a place to live. He went to look at a house already. He said I would love the kitchen the yard and the floor plan. I said great. He said you won't want to live here. I asked why. He uttered the word. The profane word of words. Just hearing it makes my blood boil....yep....wallpaper!!!! I HATE WALLPAPER! In every house I have ever remembered living in, there was wallpaper. It would not have been so bad, and my hatred not so red hot had it not been for the fact that I had to help remove said wallpaper from the wall of each house containing the obscene stuff. One house had 27 layers of wallpaper in one room.....I DON'T like wallpaper. So of course I said no, and he said I know babe, it's in every room on every wall. My worst nightmare come true. We aren't living in that house....
So the hunt continues. In March I will be flying out with Nate to really start looking...not gonna lie. I'm freaking out about it just a bit. That means this is really happening.
THE GLUTEN CHALLENGE-
On a side note, pasta and bread never tasted so good! I'm lovin' it!!!!! If I do have celiac's I will miss it terribly. I forgot how much I love pasta! Slather that stuff in fatty, saucy goodness and I will go to town! Don't even get me started on desserts. Dessert is still my passion. Cakes, pies, cookies, pastries... If I ever get a chance to go back to school I would be either a nurse or a pastry chef...no joke!!
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Gluten Challenge
I am now on the gluten challenge. This means that I get to stuff my face with gluten containing foods for the next 2 to 3 weeks in preparation for my Celiac panel. I am excited for all the bread, cookies, cake, homemade pasta, and resaurante food that I will consume while I can!!! Wish me luck keeping off the accompanied pounds that come from all those carbs!
Saturday, January 7, 2012
25 Rules for Moms with sons
I copied this from a blog, here's the link: http://studerteam.blogspot.com/2011/11/25-rules-for-mothers-of-sons.html?m=1 if you want to check it out. I just thought this was way too good to pass up! Love it!!!
(Source: pre-schoolplay.blogspot.com via Tabitha on Pinterest)
1. Teach him the words for how he feels.
Your son will scream out of frustration and hide out of embarrassment. He'll cry from fear and bite out of excitement. Let his body move by the emotion, but also explain to him what the emotion is and the appropriate response to that emotion for future reference. Point out other people who are feeling the same thing and compare how they are showing that emotion. Talk him through your emotions so that someday when he is grown, he will know the difference between angry and embarrassed; between disappointment and grief.
2. Be a cheerleader for his life
There is no doubt that you are the loudest person in the stands at his t-ball games. There is no doubt that he will tell you to "stop, mom" when you sing along to his garage band's lyrics. There is no doubt that he will get red-faced when you show his prom date his pictures from boy scouts. There is no doubt that he is not telling his prom date about your blog where you've been bragging about his life from his first time on the potty to the citizenship award he won in ninth grade. He will tell you to stop. He will say he's embarrassed. But he will know that there is at least one person that is always rooting for him.
3. Teach him how to do laundry
..and load the dishwasher, and iron a shirt. He may not always choose to do it. He may not ever have to do it. But someday his wife will thank you.
4. Read to him and read with him.
Emilie Buchwald said, "Children become readers on the laps of their parents." Offer your son the opportunity to learn new things, believe in pretend places, and imagine bigger possibilities through books. Let him see you reading...reading the paper, reading novels, reading magazine articles. Help him understand that writing words down is a way to be present forever. Writers are the transcribers of history and memories. They keep a record of how we lived at that time; what we thought was interesting; how we spoke to each other; what was important. And Readers help preserve and pass along those memories.
5. Encourage him to dance.
Dance, rhythm, and music are cultural universals. No matter where you go, no matter who you meet - they have some form of the three. It doesn't have to be good. Just encourage your son that when he feels it, it's perfectly fine to go ahead and bust a move.
6. Make sure he has examples of good men who are powerful because of their brains, their determination, and their integrity.
The examples of men with big muscles and a uniform (like Batman and LaMarr Woodley) will surround your son from birth. But make sure he also knows about men who kick a$s because of their brains (Albert Einstein), and their pen (Mark Twain), and their words (Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.), and their determination (Team Hoyt), and their ideas (The Wright Brothers), and their integrity (Officer Frank Shankwitz), and fearlessness (Neil Armstrong), and their ability to keep their mouths closed when everyone else is screaming (Jackie Robinson).
7. Make sure he has examples of women who are beautiful because of their brains, their determination, and their integrity
The examples of traditionally beautiful women (like Daphne Blake, Princess Jasmine, and Britney Spears) will surround your son from birth. But make sure he knows about women who are beautiful from the inside out because of their brains (Madame Marie Curie), and their pen (Harper Lee), and their words (Eleanor Roosevelt), and their determination (Anne Sullivan), and their ideas (Oprah Winfrey), and their integrity (Miep Gies), and fearlessness (Ameila Earhart), and their ability to open their mouths and take a stand when everyone else is silent (Aung San Suu Kyi).
8. Be an example of a beautiful woman with brains, determination, and integrity.
You already are all of those things. If you ever fear that you are somehow incapable of doing anything - remember this: If you have done any of the following: a) grew life b) impossibly and inconceivably got it out of your body c) taken care of a newborn d) made a pain go away with a kiss e) taught someone to read f) taught a toddler to eat with a utensil g) cleaned up diarrhea without gagging h) loved a child enough to be willing to give your life for them (regardless if they are your own) or i) found a way to be strong when that child is suffering...you are a superhero. do not doubt yourself for one second. Seriously.
9. Teach him to have manners
because its nice. and it will make the world a little better of a place.
10. Give him something to believe in
Because someday he will be afraid, or nervous, or heartbroken, or lost, or just need you, and you won't be able to be there. Give him something to turn to when it feels like he is alone, so that he knows that he will never be alone; never, never, never.
11. Teach him that there are times when you need to be gentle
like with babies, and flowers, and animals, and other people's feelings.
12. Let him ruin his clothes
Resolve to be cool about dirty and ruined clothes. You'll be fighting a losing battle if you get upset every time he ruins another piece of clothing. Don't waste your energy being angry about something inevitable. Boys tend to learn by destroying, jumping, spilling, falling, and making impossible messes. Dirty, ruined clothes are just par for the course.
13. Learn how to throw a football
or how to use a hockey stick, or read music, or draw panda bears (or in my case alpacas), or the names of different train engines, or learn to speak Elvish, or recognize the difference between Gryffindor and Slytherin, or the lyrics to his favorite song. Be in his life, not as an observer but as an active participant.
14. Go outside with him
turn off the television, unplug the video games, put your cellphone on the charger, even put your camera away. Just go outside and follow him around. Watch his face, explore his world, and let him ask questions. It's like magic.
15. Let him lose
Losing sucks. Everybody isn't always a winner. Even if you want to say, "You're a winner because you tried," don't. He doesn't feel like a winner, he feels sad and crappy and disappointed. And that's a good thing, because sometimes life also sucks, no matter how hard (as moms) we try to make it not suck for our kids. This practice will do him good later when he loses again (and again, and again, and again, and again.....) Instead make sure he understands that - sometimes you win - sometimes you lose. But that doesn't mean you ever give up.
16. Give him opportunities to help others
There is a big difference in giving someone the opportunity to help and forcing someone to help. Giving the opportunity lights a flame in the heart and once the help is done the flame shines brighter and asks for more opportunities. Be an example of helping others in your own actions and the way your family helps each other and helps others together.
17. Remind him that practice makes perfect.
This doesn't just apply to performance-based activities (like sports and music) but also applies to everything in life. You become a better writer by writing. You become a better listener by listening. You become better speaker by speaking. Show your son this when he is just young enough to understand (that means from birth, folks - they are making sense of the world as soon as they arrive), practice trick-or-treating at your own front door before the real thing. Practice how you will walk through airport security before a trip. Practice how you order your own food from the fast food cashier. Practice, practice, practice.
18. Answer him when he asks, "Why?"
Answer him, or search for the answer together. Show him the places to look for the answers (like his dad, or grandparents, or his aunts/uncles, or his books, or valid internet searches). Pose the question to him so he can begin thinking about answers himself. Someday, when he needs to ask questions he's too embarrassed to ask you - he'll know where to go to find the right answers.
19. Always carry band-aids and wipes on you.
especially the wipes.
20. Let his dad teach him how to do things
...without interrupting about how to do it the 'right way.' If you let his dad show and teach and discover with your son while he is growing up, some day down the road (after a short period of your son believing his dad knows nothing), he will come to the realization that his dad knows everything. You will always be his mother, but in his grown-up man heart and mind, his dad will know the answers. And this will be how, when your son is too busy with life to call and chat with his mom, you will stay connected to what is happening in his life. Because he will call his dad for answers, and his dad will secretly come and ask you.
21. Give him something to release his energy
drums, a pen, a punching bag, wide open space, water, a dog. Give him something to go crazy with - or he will use your stuff. and then you'll be sorry.
22. Build him forts
Forts have the ability to make everyday normal stuff into magic. Throw the couch cushions, a couple blankets, and some clothespins and you can transform your living room into the cave of wonders. For the rest of his life, he'll be grateful to know that everyday normal stuff has the potential to be magical.
23. Take him to new places
Because it will make his brain and his heart open up wider, and the ideas and questions and memories will rush in.
24. Kiss him
Any mother of sons will tell you that little boys are so loving and sweet. They can be harsh and wild and destructive during most of the day. But there are these moments when they are so kind and sensitive and tender. So much so that it can cause you to look around at the inward, reserved grown men in your life and think, 'what happens in between that made you lose that?' Let's try to stop the cycle by kissing them when they're loving and kissing them even more when they're wild. Kissing them when they're 2 months and kissing them when they're 16 years old. You're the mom - you can go ahead and kiss him no matter how big he gets - and make sure he knows it. p.s. (this one is just as important for dad's too).
25. Be home base
You are home to him. When he learns to walk, he will wobble a few feet away from you and then come back, then wobble away a little farther and then come back. When he tries something new, he will look for your proud smile. When he learns to read, he will repeat the same book to you twenty times in a row, because you're the only one who will listen that many times. When he plays his sport, he will search for your face in the stands. When he is sick, he will call you. When he really messes up, he will call you. When he is grown and strong and tough and big and he feels like crying, he will come to you; because a man can cry in front of his mother without feeling self-conscious. Even when he grows up and has a new woman in his life and gets a new home, you are still his mother; home base, the ever constant, like the sun. Know that in your heart and everything else will fall into place.
(Source: pre-schoolplay.blogspot.com via Tabitha on Pinterest)
1. Teach him the words for how he feels.
Your son will scream out of frustration and hide out of embarrassment. He'll cry from fear and bite out of excitement. Let his body move by the emotion, but also explain to him what the emotion is and the appropriate response to that emotion for future reference. Point out other people who are feeling the same thing and compare how they are showing that emotion. Talk him through your emotions so that someday when he is grown, he will know the difference between angry and embarrassed; between disappointment and grief.
2. Be a cheerleader for his life
There is no doubt that you are the loudest person in the stands at his t-ball games. There is no doubt that he will tell you to "stop, mom" when you sing along to his garage band's lyrics. There is no doubt that he will get red-faced when you show his prom date his pictures from boy scouts. There is no doubt that he is not telling his prom date about your blog where you've been bragging about his life from his first time on the potty to the citizenship award he won in ninth grade. He will tell you to stop. He will say he's embarrassed. But he will know that there is at least one person that is always rooting for him.
3. Teach him how to do laundry
..and load the dishwasher, and iron a shirt. He may not always choose to do it. He may not ever have to do it. But someday his wife will thank you.
4. Read to him and read with him.
Emilie Buchwald said, "Children become readers on the laps of their parents." Offer your son the opportunity to learn new things, believe in pretend places, and imagine bigger possibilities through books. Let him see you reading...reading the paper, reading novels, reading magazine articles. Help him understand that writing words down is a way to be present forever. Writers are the transcribers of history and memories. They keep a record of how we lived at that time; what we thought was interesting; how we spoke to each other; what was important. And Readers help preserve and pass along those memories.
5. Encourage him to dance.
Dance, rhythm, and music are cultural universals. No matter where you go, no matter who you meet - they have some form of the three. It doesn't have to be good. Just encourage your son that when he feels it, it's perfectly fine to go ahead and bust a move.
6. Make sure he has examples of good men who are powerful because of their brains, their determination, and their integrity.
The examples of men with big muscles and a uniform (like Batman and LaMarr Woodley) will surround your son from birth. But make sure he also knows about men who kick a$s because of their brains (Albert Einstein), and their pen (Mark Twain), and their words (Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.), and their determination (Team Hoyt), and their ideas (The Wright Brothers), and their integrity (Officer Frank Shankwitz), and fearlessness (Neil Armstrong), and their ability to keep their mouths closed when everyone else is screaming (Jackie Robinson).
7. Make sure he has examples of women who are beautiful because of their brains, their determination, and their integrity
The examples of traditionally beautiful women (like Daphne Blake, Princess Jasmine, and Britney Spears) will surround your son from birth. But make sure he knows about women who are beautiful from the inside out because of their brains (Madame Marie Curie), and their pen (Harper Lee), and their words (Eleanor Roosevelt), and their determination (Anne Sullivan), and their ideas (Oprah Winfrey), and their integrity (Miep Gies), and fearlessness (Ameila Earhart), and their ability to open their mouths and take a stand when everyone else is silent (Aung San Suu Kyi).
8. Be an example of a beautiful woman with brains, determination, and integrity.
You already are all of those things. If you ever fear that you are somehow incapable of doing anything - remember this: If you have done any of the following: a) grew life b) impossibly and inconceivably got it out of your body c) taken care of a newborn d) made a pain go away with a kiss e) taught someone to read f) taught a toddler to eat with a utensil g) cleaned up diarrhea without gagging h) loved a child enough to be willing to give your life for them (regardless if they are your own) or i) found a way to be strong when that child is suffering...you are a superhero. do not doubt yourself for one second. Seriously.
9. Teach him to have manners
because its nice. and it will make the world a little better of a place.
10. Give him something to believe in
Because someday he will be afraid, or nervous, or heartbroken, or lost, or just need you, and you won't be able to be there. Give him something to turn to when it feels like he is alone, so that he knows that he will never be alone; never, never, never.
11. Teach him that there are times when you need to be gentle
like with babies, and flowers, and animals, and other people's feelings.
12. Let him ruin his clothes
Resolve to be cool about dirty and ruined clothes. You'll be fighting a losing battle if you get upset every time he ruins another piece of clothing. Don't waste your energy being angry about something inevitable. Boys tend to learn by destroying, jumping, spilling, falling, and making impossible messes. Dirty, ruined clothes are just par for the course.
13. Learn how to throw a football
or how to use a hockey stick, or read music, or draw panda bears (or in my case alpacas), or the names of different train engines, or learn to speak Elvish, or recognize the difference between Gryffindor and Slytherin, or the lyrics to his favorite song. Be in his life, not as an observer but as an active participant.
14. Go outside with him
turn off the television, unplug the video games, put your cellphone on the charger, even put your camera away. Just go outside and follow him around. Watch his face, explore his world, and let him ask questions. It's like magic.
15. Let him lose
Losing sucks. Everybody isn't always a winner. Even if you want to say, "You're a winner because you tried," don't. He doesn't feel like a winner, he feels sad and crappy and disappointed. And that's a good thing, because sometimes life also sucks, no matter how hard (as moms) we try to make it not suck for our kids. This practice will do him good later when he loses again (and again, and again, and again, and again.....) Instead make sure he understands that - sometimes you win - sometimes you lose. But that doesn't mean you ever give up.
16. Give him opportunities to help others
There is a big difference in giving someone the opportunity to help and forcing someone to help. Giving the opportunity lights a flame in the heart and once the help is done the flame shines brighter and asks for more opportunities. Be an example of helping others in your own actions and the way your family helps each other and helps others together.
17. Remind him that practice makes perfect.
This doesn't just apply to performance-based activities (like sports and music) but also applies to everything in life. You become a better writer by writing. You become a better listener by listening. You become better speaker by speaking. Show your son this when he is just young enough to understand (that means from birth, folks - they are making sense of the world as soon as they arrive), practice trick-or-treating at your own front door before the real thing. Practice how you will walk through airport security before a trip. Practice how you order your own food from the fast food cashier. Practice, practice, practice.
18. Answer him when he asks, "Why?"
Answer him, or search for the answer together. Show him the places to look for the answers (like his dad, or grandparents, or his aunts/uncles, or his books, or valid internet searches). Pose the question to him so he can begin thinking about answers himself. Someday, when he needs to ask questions he's too embarrassed to ask you - he'll know where to go to find the right answers.
19. Always carry band-aids and wipes on you.
especially the wipes.
20. Let his dad teach him how to do things
...without interrupting about how to do it the 'right way.' If you let his dad show and teach and discover with your son while he is growing up, some day down the road (after a short period of your son believing his dad knows nothing), he will come to the realization that his dad knows everything. You will always be his mother, but in his grown-up man heart and mind, his dad will know the answers. And this will be how, when your son is too busy with life to call and chat with his mom, you will stay connected to what is happening in his life. Because he will call his dad for answers, and his dad will secretly come and ask you.
21. Give him something to release his energy
drums, a pen, a punching bag, wide open space, water, a dog. Give him something to go crazy with - or he will use your stuff. and then you'll be sorry.
22. Build him forts
Forts have the ability to make everyday normal stuff into magic. Throw the couch cushions, a couple blankets, and some clothespins and you can transform your living room into the cave of wonders. For the rest of his life, he'll be grateful to know that everyday normal stuff has the potential to be magical.
23. Take him to new places
Because it will make his brain and his heart open up wider, and the ideas and questions and memories will rush in.
24. Kiss him
Any mother of sons will tell you that little boys are so loving and sweet. They can be harsh and wild and destructive during most of the day. But there are these moments when they are so kind and sensitive and tender. So much so that it can cause you to look around at the inward, reserved grown men in your life and think, 'what happens in between that made you lose that?' Let's try to stop the cycle by kissing them when they're loving and kissing them even more when they're wild. Kissing them when they're 2 months and kissing them when they're 16 years old. You're the mom - you can go ahead and kiss him no matter how big he gets - and make sure he knows it. p.s. (this one is just as important for dad's too).
25. Be home base
You are home to him. When he learns to walk, he will wobble a few feet away from you and then come back, then wobble away a little farther and then come back. When he tries something new, he will look for your proud smile. When he learns to read, he will repeat the same book to you twenty times in a row, because you're the only one who will listen that many times. When he plays his sport, he will search for your face in the stands. When he is sick, he will call you. When he really messes up, he will call you. When he is grown and strong and tough and big and he feels like crying, he will come to you; because a man can cry in front of his mother without feeling self-conscious. Even when he grows up and has a new woman in his life and gets a new home, you are still his mother; home base, the ever constant, like the sun. Know that in your heart and everything else will fall into place.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Alyssa's turning 8
My little girl is turning 8 years old on Tuesday. Since last year she was completely jipped on her birthday I thought I would start a tradition I've seen some friends do and blog about my little lady. Alyssa shares a birthday with my Grandmother, her great-grandmother. It's a pretty big deal and she thinks it's pretty neat. This year since she is turning 8 she gets to be baptized. She is really excited and has been looking forward to it for a long time. That and getting her ears pierced. We let Natalie get hers done when she was 8 and so Alyssa wants hers pierced as well.
Some things I love about Alyssa:
She LOVES to swim! During the winter she still asks to go swimming.
She loves rocks. She collects them. She will put them in her pockets on our walks home from school everyday. This love of rocks she seems to have picked up from her Grandmother and Great Grandfather on Nate's side. I love it now that I understand where it came from.
She loves birds, and animals in general. When we are playing either at the park or at the school she will stop what she is doing and chase the birds. She has never caught one, but it doesn't stop her from trying!
She loves the monkey bars now that she can go across them well. She even has the blisters/callouses to prove it.
She is artistic. She LOVES to paint! She loves to paint anything from pictures on paper, to ceramics, to wood. She currently is fascinated by mermaids so she's been painting/coloring pictures of mermaids.
She is sensitive. It's a blessing and a curse.
She is a great friend. Above is Alyssa with 2 of her closest friends that are not related to her.
She is very smart and has a pretty good size vocabulary. Not only does she have a great vocabulary but she uses the words in a sentence correctly.
She can ask great questions. Alyssa this ability to ask questions that get right to the heart of the matter. She picks up on things that most 8 year olds don't. Sometimes it's a bit of a challenge because the questions that she asks are almost always the ones that you can't really answer properly in one or two brief sentences. It only gets difficult when we are in a hurry to piano lessons or somewhere else and she wants to know the meaning of life....(heeheehee). Ok that's not one of her questions, but really, the kid is a thinker.
She still loves to sit on my lap and play the tickle game with her Dad. She has the sweetest little giggle and we love to hear it.
She is a petite little thing but she hates it when people call her skinny.
She loves stuffed animals, especially her little friend Fizz the monkey.
She is honest. Sometimes brutally so. I have to tell her sometimes that even when something is true, it doesn't always need to be said.
She is a great teacher to her younger siblings. She has a way of explaining things so that people can understand them. Much like her questions she can simplify things and get straight to the heart of the matter....just like her Father.
She loves to play with her younger brother and will sleep in his room with him at night so that he won't have to sleep alone.
She has big, beautiful blue eyes.
She has my freckled cheeks.
She hates piano lessons and only kinda likes to read.
She LOVES to dance and sing. She loves ballet to be more specific and she loves dressing the part. She would wear tutu's all day and too school if I let her. She makes up songs about all kinds of things. I've heard songs about how she loves Jesus and songs about how she wants to be a mermaid. It's great.
Obviously I could go on and on with this list. I'll save some for her actual birthday party.
This girl is so sweet and I feel blessed to be her mom! I can't imagine our family without her and I'm so proud of her. She is quite the little lady. I'm thankful that I get to have this little girl call me Mommy everyday. Happy birthday Alyssa!
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