It's long so if you don't want to read it I'm not offended. This is the quickest way for me to direct people to a copy of my talk......feels weird to say that....like there are thronging hords of people begging to hear my words of wisdom...pwaaahahahahahaha! Not happening. But I have had a handful of people ask and I hate it when I copy and paste and email and then other people trickle in and tell me they also want a copy. This way it saves me from having to remember one more thing I promised to do. I never remember.....so here it is. Oh, the first part is introductions, the Bishop asked us to do some introductions and maybe a little bit about how we came to live here in Mechanicsville....like I said...it's long.
Introductions- Married 12 years in August. 4 kids, Natalie-10, Alyssa-8, Conner-5, & Ethan-3
I like enjoy being a mom, love to bake, eat, exercise, read, garden and go on family bike rides. I have 1 brother and 3 sisters and inherited 8 more brothers and 5 more sisters when Nate and I and all our other siblings married.
As part of our introduction, I thought I would share my perspective about how we came to live in Mechanicsville, part of our history, and how the Lord can work in our lives. For me, we weren't supposed to end up in virginia. You see, I had a plan. And a big part of that plan was where we were living at the time. Nate and I were both born and raised in a smaller town called Yuba City which is about 45 minutes north of Sacramento, California. At one point when I was very young my parents even rented a house from his parents in that town. We weren't in the same ward though so we didn't know each other. Growing up Nate lived in the same house his entire life, with the exception of when he served his mission. I moved a lot, mostly around town but I did move to Utah and Nevada for a brief stint of about 4 years total when I was 12 and moved back to our town the summer I turned 16. I'd seen enough of some other places to know that I wanted to live in Yuba City. During high school when all my friends were bored and wanted to get out of the town. I was content.
Nate and I officially met at a stake dance the same summer I moved back and we shared the same group of friends. Eventually, we became best friends, he took me to seminary, to work, to wherever I needed to go and we helped each other out with different things. We started dating, a while later and we wrote while he served his mission in Chile and the rest is history. When we married and planned our life out, or as much as we figured we could, we knew that we both wanted to stay in Yuba City and raise the children we would someday have. Both of our parents were there and we both loved it. Then about 5 years ago we were renting a home and trying to wait out the market so that we could buy a home when the prices weren't sky high. I talked about maybe moving to Idaho because it's cooler up there or else Utah because Nate has siblings that live there. One morning as I was walking to the laundry room with my arms full of laundry I had the distinct impression that our family would be making a move that would be very far away, and that I needed to prepare myself and my family for this. The impression was so strong that I remember stopping exactly where I stood and nearly dropped the basket of laundry I had in my arms. At first I thought maybe I was just being silly because I had mentioned to Nate about the thought of moving somewhere else before neither of us really wanted to. I dismissed the impression but it was strong and persisted. It was so strong that I felt like I needed to tell Nate. So I did. He looked at me and said, "Well, do you WANT to move far away?" I said NOPE, but I think we are going to. To which he replied ok, then we won't. That was the end of that.... That seemed to make the nagging impression go away and it worked for me! I really didn't want to move far away anyway.
The time came for us to move from that house and we looked into buying other houses but couldn't find one. We vacationed in Utah with Nate's brothers and looked at house after house figuring this might be the time and place that we were supposed to be moving. Driving near the end of the day Nate asked me what I thought, I asked him what he thought and then we both looked at each other and simultaneously said, "Nope." We knew this wasn't it either. I felt a bit confused but sure of two things. It wasn't time and this wasn't the place. We enjoyed the rest of our visit and I left feeling confused but happy, because I really didn't want to live in Utah. we went home and after some prayer and looking we found the home we just left and put an offer in on it. Within 3 days the house was basically ours. By now I felt that we were supposed to stay in Yuba City. Everything kept falling into place. So why the impression to prepare to move my family so far away? Confused but not wanting to ask too many questions we went ahead with the purchase. Nate and I both felt that we needed to stay in Yuba City.
It was only a year or so after we moved into the house we learned why. Nate's father was diagnosed with Lou Gherig's disease. We were only 2 miles from his parents house. Nate had the blessing of helping to care for him and as a family we had the blessing of spending time with him. Sunday dinners and and sitting by them in church were special. My kids were able to spend time with him, they played with him and when he was too weak to walk or even hold them in his arms, they would sit on his lap and he would take them for rides in his wheelchair. Both Nate and I felt like we were called to be there at that time. We cherish the time we had with him.
Because of an experience that I had before Nate's Dad was showing symptoms, I knew that his passing would be quick. Lou Gherig's disease typically runs anywhere from 3 to 5 years from onset of symptoms to death. There is no cure. Nate's father made it only one year and passed on our sweet Alyssa's 7th birthday a year and a half ago. Nate was there to help when his father fell during the night his mom couldn't help him up. Nate was there to help him in and out of his wheelchair, until his mom could figure out how to do it without hurting him. He mowed their lawn, trimmed hedges and bushes, and helped with things around the house. After we lost Glenn I knew that things would change but I had forgotten about my previous prompting. I figured that since we were supposed to stay and help with Glenn that I must have either misunderstood the prompting or made it up altogether. ( I write things like this down now.) I never thought about that impression again. The kids were happy with lots and lots of friends and I had my family including my Grandmother and my mother-in-law. Life was perfect, except for one thing....Nate was NEVER home. His job as a technician was one that demanded much of his time. He traveled nearly every week of every month of every year. Rare exceptions were Christmas. He was home on Saturday & Sunday and gone on Monday morning. Neither one of us liked it, but we were thankful that he had a job. He had applied for several different jobs over the course of a year or more, but nothing came of any of them. It was frustrating for him and really hard for me. There were times I had to call other men in the ward to come and fix things because my Dad was working and Nate was in Germany, Dubai or Finland for two weeks and couldn't be reached. We missed him.
Then one day when Nate had come home from a work related visit here in Richmond he told me of a job opportunity that they had specifically mentioned him for. They wanted him to do it and knew that the skills he had were what they needed. When he mentioned it to me something clicked and I perked up. I told him that he needed to find out some specifics about it. He asked me, "It would mean we would have to move. Would you want to move to Richmond?" I said no, but we should find out if they'll pay us more money! And before we make any kind of decision about anything we should pray about it. I did have some concerns. One of them being, the kids were already a month or two into the school year and they each had teachers that were perfect for them. Our seven chickens that we had raised from eggs were finally laying eggs, we needed a lot more money, insurance etc. before I would even consider leaving my comfort zone.
The proposal from his boss was given and I was amazed when they had addressed every concern I had. The date Nate would report was June, when the kids would already be out of school, and several other things that I had concerns about were addressed. We prayed and fasted about it. It would mean 8 months of Nate living in Richmond for 2 weeks and traveling the rest until the rest of us got here. While Nate and I were discussing all the pros and cons, the challenges and rewards, Nate reminded me of my impression from 4 years prior. As soon as he said it I knew that this was what the Lord had been preparing me for. This was it and I was completely shocked. I'm not sure why I was surprised at that point. This is how the Lord works with me much of the time. Whenever anything is big is coming my way a move, a calling, things like that, if I'm in tune enough, he always prepares me. Sometimes it's an gentle impression, sometimes a dream, sometimes just a thought but it always comes if I'm living correctly. That is one way that I know he knows me and loves me. He knows I'm not great with those kinds of surprises... So how do I show God I love Him? I'm going to talk a little bit about how we show love for God.
I have thought about how I personally do this. It's interesting and a lot humbling to see what you are doing.....and what you aren't on paper....The things I'll say today are things that I try to do in my own life. Some more successfully that others. Today I want to share just a couple ways that I show love for God.
For me it came down to 4 things: Obedience, forgiveness, service, and faith & spirituality. The first 3 are things that you or others can see done, the last only God and the individual can see.
1. I Obey. Obedience is the first law of heaven. D&C 82: 10: I the Lord am bound when ye do what I say, but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise. In my house I call this the law of consequences. If they do something good for a sibling or parent they get a treat if they do something unkind they get a bad feeling and possibly a time-out. They can pick, but not choosing means I get to choose which is also followed by a consequence.
We can be obedient by paying tithing, attending our meetings, saying our prayers, reading our scriptures, insert other primary answers here... we all know we what they are and what we should do. I looked up several scriptures and made myself a list of blessings that come from obedience to commandments.
1. We can see the face of Christ
2. We can gain knowledge and intelligence
3. Health
4. We will be saved
5. Eternal life
6. Eat the good of the land of Zion
7. Wisdom
8. Gain a testimony
9. Access to God
10. Power
This is not a complete list. But it says in D&C 130: 20-21:" There is a law, irrevoceably decreed in heaven before the foundation s of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated– and when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated."
Someone who is obedient is steadfast, humble, submissive, diligent and works hard. Keeping the commandments is work and effort. Pres. Monson says, "Obey the laws of God. They are given us of a Loving Heavenly Father. When they re obeyed our lives will be more fulfilling, less complicated. Our challenges and problems will be easier to bear. We will receive the Lord's promised blessings. He has said, "The Lord requireth the heart and a willing mind; and the willing and obedient shall eat the good of the land of Zion in these last days." You have one life to live. Keep it as free from trouble as you can."
When you're a child or teenager obedience can feel and looks like handcuffs. As you grow and spiritually mature obedience looks and feels like freedom and joy. Pres. Benson said, "When obedience ceases to be an irritant and becomes our quest, in that moment God will endow us with power."
In my every day life obedience looks like waking up earlier than I normally would so I can pray and really study the scriptures. It looks like daily family prayer and scripture study even when it seems pointless because everyone is either laughing, fighting, tickling, poking, or wrestling someone else. Obedience in my home looks like going to church even when it has to be without my husband there to sit with me, and our 4 energetic children. It's being happy that I have the blessing of being able to teach them by example the importance of attending church even as they grind crackers I gave them into the floor, in a vain attempt to keep them quiet. Obedience looks like daily talks with my children about the Spirit, how it works, how it feels and how they can hear it and have it with them always. Then going and creating opportunities for them to feel and hear so that their little seed of faith will grow into a strong testimony. It looks like paying tithing not only on what we earn but every time a tooth is lost or allowance given.
Obedience is preventative. obedience brings blessings.
2. Forgiveness.
For me, in general, being forgiving in daily life is not challenging. It's actually something that can be done pre-emptively. In my own life Tolerance goes hand-in-hand with forgiveness. When tolerance fails I ask for forgiveness. If you can be tolerant of others quirks and behaviors you really won't need to forgive as much because things won't offend you as often. One of my favorite quotes on the subject comes from Pres. Uchtdorf. He said, "We re not perfect. The people around us are not perfect. People do things that annoy, disappoint, and anger. In this mortal life it will always be that way. Remember, heaven is filled with those who have this in common: They are forgiven, and they forgive."
Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves. Forgiveness isn't waiting for our spouse or friend to repent first. Forgiveness is forgiving even when repentance has not taken place.
D&C 98: 40-43: and as oft as thine enemy repenteth of the trespass wherewith he has trespassed against thee, thou shalt forgive him, until seventy times seven. And if he trespass against thee and repent not the first time nevertheless, thou shalt forgive him.
D&C 64: 9-10 : Wherefore, I say unto you that ye ought to forgive one another for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin. I, the Lord will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men. By showing forgiveness and mercy to other of Father's children we draw closer to him because we are emulating him. The next is service.
3. Service
Everyone knows service is one way we show love for God and our fellow men. Blessings for service are activated by our diligent efforts, our willingness to sacrifice and our desire to do what's right.
I don't know if this is true of anyone else but there have been a few callings that I might have considered turning down had I not known they were from God. Normally I would never refuse any call that came to me but there was a time that I really wanted to. It came at a time that Nate and I moved into a different ward back in California. A month after we moved in I had the distinct impression that a calling would be coming to me very soon that would be difficult for me. I had no idea what it was only that it was coming. I told Nate my impression and figured that it wouldn't be that difficult or time consuming because they knew I had a 2 month old baby. A month or two later when I was sitting with a member of the bishopric they issued me a calling....... primary chorister. To say that I was terrified would be accurate. You can't just prepare for that on Saturday night. I didn't' sing in front of people, little or big and I don't know how to play the piano, and I can't read music and I had a two year old and a now 3 month old. I asked if they were sure they were issuing the call to the right person. He assured me that he was. That the primary president was very insistent after attending the temple that this was where the Lord wanted me to serve. After informing him of my lack of ability to do what was being asked I believe my response was, "well, if you are sure that this is inspired I'll do it but I have no idea how." I walked away completely overwhelmed. I was being asked to learn things I thought completely impossible for me to learn and overcome a big fear of mine as well. The primary presidency all had babies of their own and it was a very busy calling. One that I learned a LOT from. I grew in many different way and was stretched beyond what I thought that I could do. From that calling I had to learn to rely on the Lord for everything I was supposed to do. The first few months were really hard. I really had no idea what I was doing so I made an arrangement with the pianist Sister Mallory (who had been playing for 50 years) to meet after church so that she could teach me some basics of how to lead music. She helped me understand some basic things about music, like when to make them sing louder or softer, when to make them stop singing and the pattern you wave your arm with when you lead a song in 4/4 time. She was an angel and so patient with me. After a few months I felt a little more comfortable and I would go into the nursery, junior primary, and senior primary to lead music with a prayer in my heart, a baby on my hip, the things I had prepared during the week, and faith knowing the Lord would help me and my meager abilities to teach those little guys the gospel thru music.
In my time as primary chorister I learned some really important lessons. Here are a few:
1. There is a primary song for almost any situation or gospel topic.
2. I learned that we have to be humble to be able to serve effectively.
3. I learned that we need to be diligent, work hard, and be patient with ourselves and others.
4. I learned that We are entitled to inspiration and revelation pertaining to our spheres of responsibility and that it comes when we need it.
5. I learned that music can bring the spirit into a home, meeting or a persons heart faster than any spoken word and it can be the foundation for seeds of faith to grow into giant testimonies
6. I learned that my sisters in the gospel who are older than I am, are also wiser than I am. I love drawing on their wisdom and experience to help me serve better.
7. I learned that we love those we serve.
8. I learned that when we are doing what the Lord asks of us, we are never alone, he walks with us or when we need him to, he carries us. And he magnifies our abilities, or our efforts because of our lack of abilities. I still don't like to sing in front of people, but I can. I still can't read many notes, but I can read some, and I can lead a song that is in 4/4 time. I know and can sing nearly every primary song and I sing them and teach them to my children because in them are simple and important gospel truths.
Pres. Monson said, "Remember that this work is not yours and mine alone. It is the Lord's work, and when we are on the Lord's errand, we are entitled to his help. Remember that the Lord will shape the back to bear the burden placed upon it."
4. Faith & spirituality.
As I said before, I came to love primary songs. They are so simple and succinct here's one I taught the kids, "Faith is knowing the sun will rise lighting each new day. Faith is knowing the Lord will hear my prayers each time I pray. Faith is like a little seed. If planted it will grow. Faith is a swelling within my heart. When I do right I know. Faith is knowing I lived with God before my mortal birth. Faith is knowing I can return when my life ends on earth. Faith is trust in god above; In Christ who showed the way. Faith is strengthened; I feel it grow Whenever I obey."
Believing something you can't see comes easy for some and for others it's difficult. Spirituality brings eternal perspective. You need both. It takes faith to pay your tithing when there isn't enough money to pay your bills. It takes faith to keep the word of wisdom. It takes faith to raise and bear children in the Lord's way.
Elder Oakes also tells of an example of perspective. " In a BYU devotional several years ago, Elder Loren C. Dunn described how his father, a busy stake president in Tooele, gave his two young sons the responsibility of raising cows on the family farm. He gave the boys large latitude in what they could do, and they made some mistakes. These were observed by an alert neighbor, who complained to their father about what the young cow-raisers were doing. "Jim, you don't understand," President Dunn replied. "You see, I'm raising boys, not cows." What a marvelous insight! What an example for parents who are inclined to view and evaluate their children's performance solely in temporal terms."
What we see around us depends on what we seek in life. So if we are seeking spirituality how do we get there?
I found a list of 10 things we can do in our day to day lives to increase or develop faith and spirituality.
1. Faith is developed in a setting where we cannot see what lies ahead. Sometimes it means taking a few steps into the dark before we see the light. Paying our tithing when money is tight is just one way we can exercise faith.
2. Read the scriptures daily.
3. Really pray and not just say our prayers. President Brigham Young said, "It matters not whether you or I feel like praying. … If we do not feel like it, we should pray till we do"
4. Go to bed early and get up early. This one is hard for me. I don't like mornings, and I don't think they like me much either. Some of you may wonder what this has to do with spirituality. Remember the scripture "Cease to sleep longer than is needful; retire to thy bed early, that ye may not be weary; arise early, that your bodies and your minds may be invigorated" (D&C 88:124). Elder Joe J. Christensen tells of an experience he had.
"Barbara, my wife, and I had the choice experience of being asked to be chauffeur for President and Sister Marion G. Romney and drove them from Provo to their home in Salt Lake City. Along the way, President Romney shared some of his personal experiences from when he was first called to serve as a General Authority in 1941. He had been serving as a stake president at the time and had gone to general conference. To his amazement, he was sustained as a new General Authority—an Assistant to the Quorum of the Twelve—without his prior knowledge; no one had talked to him about the calling before the session started. He was shocked and very nervous. He felt that he needed some advice, so he went to Elder Harold B. Lee, a relatively new member of the Quorum of the Twelve and a former contemporary as a stake president. Elder Romney asked him for advice about how to be successful as a General Authority.
Elder Lee spoke about the necessity of receiving personal revelation in order to be effective and said: "If you are to be successful as a General Authority, you will need to be inspired. You will need to receive revelation. I will give you one piece of advice: Go to bed early and get up early. If you do, your body and mind will become rested, and then in the quiet of those early-morning hours, you will receive more flashes of insight and inspiration than at any other time of the day."
President Romney said: "From that day on, I put that counsel into practice, and I know it works. Whenever I have a serious problem, or some assignment of a creative nature with which I hope to receive the influence of the Spirit, I always receive more assistance in the early-morning hours than at any other time of the day. Following that counsel has helped me a great deal through the years."
5. Work hard. Laziness and spirituality don't go together. The most spiritual people I know are also some of the hardest-working people I have ever met. So if you want to increase your level of spirituality, work hard, and Magnify your callings within the Church.
6. Share your testimony with others.
7. When we are fasting do we do more than just get hungry? (see D&C 59:13–23). Sometimes that is all we do because our level of spirituality hasn't matured.
Meaningful fasting is one sure method of cultivating spirituality in our lives. Focus, fast, and pray. It seems that every time the scriptures refer to fasting, prayer is also mentioned. They go together.
One example is the sons of Mosiah. In Alma Chapter 17:3 it says, "but this is not all, they had given themselves to much prayer and fasting; therefore they had the spirit of prophecy , and the spirit of revelation, and when they taught they taught with power and authority of God."
Having faith and spirituality are the key. We can obey and lack faith. We can forgive and lack spirituality. We can go thru the motions but we can't fool God. If we obey, forgive, serve, and walk with faith our testimonies will be strengthened and we will be become more like Him. We will develop and mature in our spirituality and live every day life with an eternal perspective. We will be able to claim the Lord's promised blessings and be a blessing and a strength to others.
